February 2012
7 posts
Anonymous asked: What is the craziest story you have about hooking up with a girl?...
ikillcameron asked: Five, Nine, Twelve, Twenty-Two. GO!
TMI Tuesday!
Get at it!
6 tags
So I'm kind of bored...
…And I feel like doing a little bit of writing. But I wanna do something band-related so I’m going to write about a couple of my favorite For The Record songs that I’ve written. Trudy:
“Trudy” is a song about, basically, my dream girl. A girl who’s really into ska, dresses nice, likes dancing and music in general, and is really pretty. Pretty sure that...
12 tags
Relationships and Why They're Stupid: A Catharsis
I’m a bitter and jaded individual. Especially when it comes to women. Not because every woman I’ve ever had a significant relationship with cheated on me with my best friend, or broke up with me via text message, or left me at the side of the rode in the rain with my heart broken. No. It’s all been my fault. It’s always been my fault. And in both of my relationships...
9 tags
Listen to me.
(an actual rant) I don’t give a fuck who you are. I couldn’t POSSIBLY fathom myself giving anything resembling me giving a fuck about who and/or what you believe in, what god you do or do not worship, how much fucking money you make, or who your spouse is. Unless a certain person has wronged you so deviously and scarred you for life, you don’t EVER say that you’re glad...
12 tags
If you're in California
You should come see this: http://www.facebook.com/events/351747054855461/ Because my band’s playing. And it’d be pretty cool to get some more people to come. And it’s a ska and punk show!
January 2012
11 posts
11 tags
There're things in life...
…which you’ve wanted for so long for. Meeting your hero. Finally skydiving. Losing your virginity. Stuff like that. Stuff that you’ve only dreamed of doing but never actually did because it was too farfetched of a dream. Because that’s all it was. A dream. Then it actually happens. You do meet your hero and shake their hand. You’re about to jump out of a...
17 tags
Followers!
Guys, you gotta do me a solid here. My band has a HUGE opportunity to go on tour with some pretty famous people and to finally get our name out there. This could very well possibly be our big break. All you have to do is go to www.theunsignedtour.com/vote and type in “For The Record”. That’s all you have to do. It’d mean a lot to me if you did.
Anonymous asked: Who was your last post about?
8 tags
I'm feeling cynical and slightly misogynistic.
So here’s why you suck. This is about no one in particular. Multiple people inspired it. But here’s why I think you suck. You know why boys don’t like you? Because you’re a cunt. Plain and simple. I cannot break that down into simpler terms. You’re a cooze. You lack self-confidence, therefore reducing how attractive you are. Your other problem? You ask...
6 tags
Another TMI Tuesday
Ask me shit. You know how it goes. New actual blog to follow some time tonight. Hoping for it to be a doozie.
10 tags
The Mix CD
So I’m putting all of my CDs that I have onto iTunes right now and I come across a lot of old Mix CDs that Shilly made me when we were together that I kept because, frankly, she had some good stuff on there. And to tell you the truth, it’s weird. These CDs used to mean something. Every song had some kind of memory attached. Now they mean nothing. Just data on a disk that...
8 tags
Ask Box
Do it. Ask me things.
Fuck
I try too hard. I care too much. And all that happens is that I either fuck everything up or I over-extend myself and just get hurt.
Fuck me sideways with a lunchbox, man.
5 tags
TMI Tuesday!
Ask me things and stuff.
So I have an ask box now.
Feel free to ask me random shit.
It's funny.
You see someone you haven’t seen, let alone talked to, in a good while. Then something happens.
Everything comes rushing back. You remember everything. How she smells, how she tastes, how her hair felt, how her room was always a mess and smelled vaguely of spoiled pit bull and cigarettes, and how her bed was way too small for the both of you but you didn’t care, and how you...
December 2011
2 posts
It's been so long that I forget what your face...
And then I see it and it’s like I haven’t seen you in years. That’s when I realize that it really has been awhile since the last time I’ve actually seen you. It’s weird and I don’t like it.
I miss my dad sometimes.
Despite the fact that I am indeed a heartless bastard I miss my dead dad sometimes. As hard as I try to make it an “out of sight, out of mind” kind of deal, he creeps his way back in. It irritates me. Because just as I’m hitting a high note on a really good day *BAM* “Your dad’s dead” and then I’m bummed for a good portion of the day. Cool.
...
November 2011
14 posts
Why I Hate The Holidays.
I don’t know what turned me into a bitter and jaded old man but when it comes to the Holidays I suddenly join the legions upon legions of them. Fuck. Seriously. Fuck Thanksgiving and fuck Christmas.
This one I really have no idea why I hate. When I was younger I LOVED Christmas. It was the coolest thing in the world to slide into the tree on Christmas Eve and open presents...
You know what?
Fuck it. Fuck everything. I’ve got a case of Ranter’s Block and it fucking sucks. I know you guys’ve probably noticed, but if you haven’t my blogs for the last maybe month have sucked more dick than your mother around Christmas time because she wants to buy you a fucking Huffy. I don’t know why it is. Perhaps I’m uninspired. But that’s not...
The worst poem in the world.
I owe you a debt I could never repay
So call this an IOU.
With sickly sweet nothings
That fell on deaf ears
And those whispers lost in time.
Apologies like broken records
And dead horses beaten
So much that my room
Starts to smell like glue.
It’s been awhile since I’ve seen your face
And to you nothing I say rings true.
But I owe you a debt I could never repay
So call this...
Ya know what, Today?
Fuck you. Seriously.
That awkward moment when you say your dad was from...
…and he still doesn’t quite get it :/
Love and Hate.
The opposite of love isn’t hate. It’s indifference. If you hate something, you follow it, you call it out, you bash on it, but, at the end of the day, you still give a shit. If you don’t care, then you don’t care. You’re over it. You’re done. And you really couldn’t care less about what the other group of people, other person, other anything is doing...
A Little Tid-Bit About Me.
My name is Asa Waggoner. I’m kind of a narcissist. And I’m kind of a douchebag. But, for the most part, I’m an all-around nice enough guy. But I’m THAT guy. I’m that guy that’ll tell you that I think your idea for a tattoo is stupid. But I’ll offer you an alternative. I’m that guy that’ll either be completely sober or totally fucked up at...
Commitment to Excellence and how Mission...
Okay, fine. Here’s a rant. I’m kind of sad that I couldn’t get a video of me going off on Breadman last night about the term “Snail Trail”. Because I got REALLY into it and now I’m feeling kind of bad.
Okay, so here’s a real blog:
“Commitment to Excellence”
“Pursuing Success”
“Herp and/or Derp” The above...
For Once, a Legitmate Post.
The last few nights have been magnificent. I have a new girlfriend and she is just SO lovely. And if you’ve been keeping up with this at all you’d know her name is Sabrina. But for the sake of the continuous use of pseudonyms I’ll be calling her Saffron. If you played the original Pokemon games at all you’d probably be able to make the correllation. As I’m...
I love that feeling you get...
…When a girl gives you her number and you say, “Oh, no thank you. I’m kind of seeing someone.” :3:3:3
That awful moment when...
…you tell someone about all of the horrible, horrible things you’ve done in the past and you’re certain that you’ve scared them away.
But then there’s that awesome moment where they accept it and don’t care and just want to crawl into bed and cuddle. If a woman can accept your past then she’ll probably be in your future.
"I love you. I wish I didn't. But I can't help...
Mother of FUCK I love House!
I just made...
…A gigantic post about how relationships are like riding a rollercoaster blind-folded. Then my battery died.
And now it’s gone. FUCK.
I feel like...
…I’m in a club. And I’m dancing. And if you don’t know me then know that I can’t dance to anything that isn’t ska. So anything I do dance to I look even more awkward and horrible than I actually feel doing so. But I’m in this club and I’m dancing. And I know I should stop. And so does everyone else. And everyone’s telling me to stop and...
October 2011
6 posts
How Women Inheirently Rule The World
“Behind every great man, there is an even greater woman.” …Because that great man wants to get behind that woman.
I do a lot of thinking when I’m in the shower or right before I go to sleep. Except, usually, in the midsts of my pre-sleepytime thought, I come to the realization that I’m going to die one day and that in the grand scheme of the universe nothing I...
How Everyone Got Their Pseudonyms
I get asked a lot, “Who the eff is x?” “Why is x called x and not y?” “Why don’t you use anyone’s real name?”. I use pseudonyms because, in the slight chance that I do have a stalker that’s keeping tabs on me, they can’t really figure out who they are. I’ll refer to myself by name since it’s my blog. But I don’t...
Skapocalypse!
http://tinypic.com/r/2j2es1y/7 So last Friday, the 21st, was my band’s latest show. And it was AWESOME. Maybe twenty or so people crammed in a room that a Ford Ranger could hardly fit in. Hell, this whole weekend was pretty great. It all started on Thursday. Hung out with Breadman all day. Then around 10pm when Treeple was done studying her and I went out to Rocky Hill and just...
Home Alone
…and quite frankly I’m bored as fuck. So Ima blog about being home alone. Mom went on a cruise to Cabo San Lucas for the week. So, naturally, I took my vacation from work so I can totally enjoy the house all to my lonesome. On paper, this week is AWESOME. In Reality, this week is AVERAGE. Mom left on Sunday at around 8ish. Which means from then until Friday, she’s...
Dammit I'm Mad
And titling this thing with a palindrome didn’t quite give me the giggle I wanted to maybe change my mind about writing this. You know why I’m mad? I have no idea. So you have no idea. But in my mind I’m throwing a fit. It’s like when that fucking Melvin kid in your physics class asks the teacher a question because he missed one on the test you guys took the day...
Since I never update.
I thought I would today since I need some kind of catharsis and to clear my mind.
Well, for starters, Shilly and I aren’t friends anymore. Or talking at least. Which I guess means we aren’t friends. So that’s pretty shitty. I’m an idiot. It started with a trip to San Jose and an “On my way, kinda” excuse to go see her. I wrote her a good-bye letter. ...
July 2011
2 posts
Why Visalia is the worst possible place to have a...
I’m pretty sure if you’re reading this, then you know that I have a band: For The Record. And you’ve probably liked us on Facebook. And if you haven’t, you totally should because, quite frankly, I’d like to be famous.
Anyway, I’m in a band with Rude Boy and Big Red Dog and I love making music with them. And really, I’d love to play a show with...
Getting Away With Murder
Okay. Look. You’re upset. I know you are. You are, and so are the other 5,999,999,999 people in the world. Probably. And I am a little bit, too. But look, there’s nothing you can do about it. There’s nothing I can do about it. There’s nothing anyone can do about it. It’s over.
Finished.
DONEZO.
I’m talking about the Casey Anthony murder...
May 2011
1 post
Nostalgia
My god, the feeling is overwhelming. It’s wonderful. It’s magical. It’s like falling in love. I love the feeling of nostalgia. Yea, I rock the Angry Beavers and Quailman shirts like it’s no one’s fuckin’ business. Hear that 12 year olds? I wear it because I actually watched the show. Not to be ironic.
I thought I was the only one that was really...
March 2011
3 posts
My awesome day
So today was a good day. No, no rant today so you can stop reading now if you wish.
So I woke up and went to school. And that was alright. Because it’s school and Stats depresses the ever-loving fuck out of me. And then after that I ran to McDonald’s and got some chicken nuggets and honey mustard sauce because I felt like being in high school again because that was my staple...
Why I Hate Political Parties
Prompted by a discussion with Cosmo. This is gonna be short because I have work here in half an hour. Warning: The following post is absolutely ignorant, rife with fallacies, and horribly misinformed. Read at your own discretion.
So here goes. Bipartisonship is fucking stupid and here’s why: It’s black and white. That’s it in a nutshell. How many times has it...
Video Games
Suck it, Joe Lieberman.
As liberal as I am, I can’t stand Joe Lieberman. For those of who you don’t know, he’s a Senator from Connecticut who’s against violence in video games. But I’ll get to that later.
I like video games. Shit, I was destroying people at Tekken 2 when I was four when my dad bought me my first Playstation (Sony for life, nigga). ...
February 2011
5 posts
Drunk Blog
Because I can.
So tonight was awesome. And any spelling mistakes can be attributed to my inebriation. I drove home drunk, bumping Reel Big Fish with my windows down. As dangerous as it sounds, IT WAS AWESOME. Srsly, tonight was a good night.
So let me tell you guys about my night. Because it was great. And I have the alcohol tolerance of a new-born fetus, but apparently I can...
Porn
“The internet is for porn!” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JpdCJKPHzh8
Well, not really. But it sure does seem that way. Anyone ever hear about that possibly made-up stat that for every normal web page like Facebook or Myspace or Xanga or Youtube or Twitter there’s about nine porno sites? In those alone that’d be 45 porn sites. That’s a fuckton of titties.
...
Why I'm not cut out for the military
Prompted by a discussion outside of Food Maxx with Roman and me putting a part of my stand-up bit into practice.
I’d hate to be in the military. I have the utmost respect for people who are and if you’re stationed somewhere or are in the military and reading this, thank god every day that I’m not over there with you guys. I’d be a shitty soldier. Especially front...
Tattoos and piercings.
I’ve got a boner just thinking about this entry. Awwwww yeeeee! B)
There was a time and place where I didn’t think tattoos were sexy and piercings were really off-putting. Now I must say I’m a real fan of the nose ring and a lip-stud. I still don’t like tramp stamps, though.
…What? If I wanted to look at butterflies while I’m taking you from behind...